My Bipolar Diary

This is the Real Stuff !!


It's a journey of hope, despair, longing, annoyance, fear, winning, and sometimes just sheer tiredness. Read this if you think you are bipolar. Or if you have just been diagnosed and want to know what to expect. Or if you just want to see what someone else has gone through.

After I was diagnosed, I wrote down all my daily thoughts and feelings for six years, from 1997-2003, while I struggled to cope with being bipolar. It's goes from diagnosis to relative stability, and was a blog before blogs even existed.

The Diary is the soul of this website, and I've been told many times that there is nothing else like it on the web. You'll be surprised how similar the Diary is to your experience. The dates are old, but the problems of being bipolar don't change.

  1. Why I Went to a Psychiatrist in the First Place
  2. Taking Medication for the First Time
  3. Taking Medication, Take Two
  4. Stable and Reflective
  5. It’s OK to be Depressed
  6. Just When I Thought I was Stable
  7. Lives of Quiet Desperation
  8. A Day in the Life of a Manic Person
  9. Here I Start Again…again
  10. Been There, Done That, Got a T-shirt
  11. Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life for the Next Two Weeks
  12. Life is Boring
  13. OK, Maybe Not So Boring
  14. Trying to Stay on Medication
  15. No Motivation, Alas
  16. Love is a Healer
  17. Not Enough of a Healer
  18. Tales of Far Away
  19. No Sleep is a Bad Idea
  20. Crash and Burn
  21. Running on High Octane
  22. Cycling Downhill and Trying the Brakes
  23. Cycling Uphill and Trying the Brakes
  24. Today is ALWAYS the First Day of the Rest of My Life
  25. Being Normal
  26. Relationship Problems
  27. Planning One Week Ahead
  28. Depression and Prozac
  29. Being Stable Daily
  30. Breaking Up is…Confusing to Do
  31. How Do People Live with Normal Emotions
  32. Taking On a Race Or Not
  33. Losing My Identity
  34. Do I Want to Get Better?

This is the end of the first phase of the diary.


  1. The Price of Clubbing
  2. My Desk is Getting Clearer
  3. Starting Back Up....
  4. Bad News and Good News
  5. Experiment 15 Jul 12 (Day 1)
  6. Experiment 16 Jul 12 (Day 2)
  7. Experiment 17 and 18 Jul 12 (Days 3 and 4)
  8. 2013 and all that


The 2019 and forward stuff

  1. It Got Worse in my Forties, Fifties (new : 2 Sep 19)


Since the Diary was written, I've become more knowledgeable about being bipolar, and about drugs, and mania, and depression episodes, and dealing with doctors. Check out the other sections of the website for more specific information.