Comments on Coming out of a Depression Episode. Taken from when the website was on Wordpress.
In some ways it works very well. I can sit with a razor blade or bottles of pills in front of me, seriously considering suicide. Within an hour I will feel fantastic and clean my home from top to bottom. Or disinfect my home as my friends call it, haha.
So from considering suicide and to having everything cleaned and done, it will take about 4 – 6 hours. Depending on the lenght of my depression. But no more than 6 hours.
My extremely rapid moodchanges “saves” me from my depressions. I honestly don’t think that I would be alive without them. However, I do get negative effects from this.
But I get even more manic from getting done within those hours. “OMG, I’m done this fast, this is great, wow I’m amazing and quick”, etc. I will often go to the gym for 2-3 hours then, and I will still be all hyped afterwards. That’s when I start to do crazy stuff.
So I personally don’t feel anything negative about it. I feel awesome. But my family is concerned of course, and I do get hallucinations. Luckily I have parents that will bring me home to ‘keep an eye on me’. They live in the country. Which means I can’t just get into town and start arguments, fights, end up drunk somewhere, etc. When I’m at their home I will use my manic mood to clean their house, walk their dogs, ride the horses, fix fences, etc. Instead of ending up in heavy drinking, fight, doing drugs, stealing, etc.
There are good things about rapid moodchanges. I don’t need to get those weeks of ‘recovery’ like you do (no offence meant). And no risk of going right into a depression again. I will quickly make up for the depression I was in.
However, I will quickly get out of control. Aswell as I will quickly go from being hypomanic to depressed. And I will miss the manic state so much it makes me even more depressed.
It became a longer post than expected. But I can’t really cut anymore off it, even tho I tried.
Am amused by your description. How does it work having such super rapid mood changes? How many things become undone in just a few hours? Or do they just look undone through the following mania lens?
When I’m done cleaning and taking care of all the stuff however, thats when it starts to become a hazard to people around me.
It’s good you are out of the depression. I hope it doesn’t become too much for you, despite how frustrating it is.
In some ways it works very well. I can sit with a razor blade or bottles of pills in front of me, seriously considering suicide. Within an hour I will feel fantastic and clean my home from top to bottom. Or disinfect my home as my friends call it, haha.
So from considering suicide and to having everything cleaned and done, it will take about 4 – 6 hours. Depending on the lenght of my depression. But no more than 6 hours.
My extremely rapid moodchanges “saves” me from my depressions. I honestly don’t think that I would be alive without them. However, I do get negative effects from this.
But I get even more manic from getting done within those hours. “OMG, I’m done this fast, this is great, wow I’m amazing and quick”, etc. I will often go to the gym for 2-3 hours then, and I will still be all hyped afterwards. That’s when I start to do crazy stuff.
So I personally don’t feel anything negative about it. I feel awesome. But my family is concerned of course, and I do get hallucinations. Luckily I have parents that will bring me home to ‘keep an eye on me’. They live in the country. Which means I can’t just get into town and start arguments, fights, end up drunk somewhere, etc. When I’m at their home I will use my manic mood to clean their house, walk their dogs, ride the horses, fix fences, etc. Instead of ending up in heavy drinking, fight, doing drugs, stealing, etc.
There are good things about rapid moodchanges. I don’t need to get those weeks of ‘recovery’ like you do (no offence meant). And no risk of going right into a depression again. I will quickly make up for the depression I was in.
However, I will quickly get out of control. Aswell as I will quickly go from being hypomanic to depressed. And I will miss the manic state so much it makes me even more depressed.
It became a longer post than expected. But I can’t really cut anymore off it, even tho I tried.
Am amused by your description. How does it work having such super rapid mood changes? How many things become undone in just a few hours? Or do they just look undone through the following mania lens?
When I’m done cleaning and taking care of all the stuff however, thats when it starts to become a hazard to people around me.
It’s good you are out of the depression. I hope it doesn’t become too much for you, despite how frustrating it is.