When I come out of depression, I'm usually at a loss at what to do next. Where to start? What should I be doing?
Yes, there is probably critical stuff that will need to be done, BUT, first take some time out and do what I call "Remembering What You Want To Do In Life". I'm pretty sure I can use big words to shorten that term, but I like it this way - it's pretty clear what it means.
About the critical stuff - well, this will take about 20 minutes - and the critical stuff can wait for 20 minutes. This is worth doing.
So what does the 'Remembering What You Want To Do In Life' mean. It's pretty simple - it's a drawing of what the important projects in your life are. I've used the term projects, but any of the following words carry the same meaning: sections, areas, cores, foci, parts...you get the idea, I hope.
Projects are big things, NOT tasks. For example, taking care of my garden is a project, but digging out the cacti and replacing them with plants that don't stick you with thorns when weeding is a task.
A project is also something that you want to do. The point of this is to remind you what you want to do in life. If there's stuff you have to do, but don't want to do, it's not a project. Got it?
These are the projects I have chosen and why:
House: I'm house proud and I have this ongoing 'make the house look nicer' fetish.
Garden: I inherited the garden from my ex - but it is gorgeous and I want to keep it that way.
Dogs: I don't just have dogs, I do as much as I can with them. It's a full time job.
Website: This website. 'nuff said.
Office: There is cool database programming stuff that I want to do here.
Social: Making sure I keep in touch with family and friends
Health / Exercise: I like the long distance running and cycling and the friends are fun
Notice that everything on the list is stuff that I want to do. The garden is not just about general maintenance, it's about having a butterfly filled garden that I am proud of. The office work is not just about the daily grind, but about stuff there that I find challenging. The exercise isn't just to stay fit, but because I enjoy being outside doing this stuff with friends.
If it is just maintenance stuff, like housework, it doesn't belong on this list.
You can add any projects / areas that you want. You can add more or you can have less.
Two obvious projects that are missing: Kids and Partners. But I don't have kids, or a partner, so they don't make it on my list.
Don't choose your projects yet!!
Here's what to do next.
Draw some boxes on a piece of paper. Start with 4 or 5. You can add more later. The boxes should be big enough to write about 5-10 words in.
In each box , write a project (area of your life, etc.) that is important to you. The first few will probably be easy, but then it gets harder. That's normal. You can use items from my list above, or anything else you want. Remember, this is your life - choose what is important to you.
You'll probably want to make changes as you go along. Expect that you'll be scratching out boxes and adding new ones.
Once things settle, ask yourself why did he make us draw boxes instead of writing a list.
Well, it's easier to visualise and remember boxes than a list - especially if you draw them in cool patterns.
Next, count the number of boxes you have left. If you have more than 5, try merging the ones which are very similar. Here's why - the boxes give you a rough idea of the amount of time you can spend doing things. If you have too many boxes, you have overextended yourself, you won't have time to do everything and you will create unneeded stress in your life. Notice that on my diagram, the house and garden projects have been merged into one. Merged projects mean that either you do something from one project or the other.
I've cheated, by the way - I have 6 projects. And yes, I am overextended.
Right. So now you have this cool, but scrappy thing. How do you use it?
Well, draw a more or less neat version first, arranging the boxes in a fashion that looks cool to you. Pretty is memorable and we need all the memory aids we can get.
The diagram represents all the things you WANT to do in your life. These things don't change rapidly. The next time you come out from depression, and you are thinking what to do next, select something from one of these boxes, rather than doing something randomly.
It's very disorienting to emerge from a depression episode. It's very much like coming out into the sunlight after being inside - in fact it IS often literally coming outside into sunlight after staying inside for days,
Like getting over a fever
Do not expect us to be good to go. we are weak and disoriented still. Too much will tip us pack
Depression episode
2-3 days - 1-2 days recovery
1 week - 1-2 weeks
2 weeks - 1 months
One months - 1 month min, 2 months estimated.
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