By my early twenties, perhaps earlier, I learned to keep my personal things (keys, wallet, notes, etc.) in specific places, because if I misplaced them, I would never be able to find them.
It turns out the act of looking for something is not possible if you are manic or depressed.
If you are manic, you throw up your hands in disgust and immediately abandon the search because you are supposed to be doing something else NOW and searching is wasting time!
If you are depressed, you just abandon the search because, you know, depression. So you just can't.
It's not just keys. It is your wallet, milk in the fridge, the T-shirt you wanted to wear today, your cell phone, your house keys, your gloves, your medication, your favourite cup, the dog leash, the bottle of wine you planned to carry to the dinner party, the tv remote, if it's not exactly where it should be, it might as well be on Mars.
I don't have enough information. I did keep some things in order. But my school notes were frequently messy. Overall, I tended to the neat and orderly side, but I didn't consider it a coping mechanism then - it was just something I was.
I carry some of this with me even now. I still can't study or read or write with music or the television in the background (my house tends to be quiet). I have difficulty following conversations in noisy areas like a pub although no one else seems to have problems.
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First published 8 Sep 2020.