2012

Weird Side

You know your household is starting to walk on the weird side when you start leaving out dog food for the lizards.

SR: what about the black birds????

SS: Where is the lizard food?

JM: @SR: Right now we have no black birds, only silver winged tanagers, yellow tails, sucriers, palm tanagers, house wrens, blue herons looking for fish in the copper, 2 or 3 types of hummingbirds, and an owl who spent last night in the mango tree staring and who creeped me out enough that I abandoned the porch.

I'd invite the hawk to eat, but the housemate gets grumpy when I try to catch the neighbour's cat.

JR: @SS: The lizards are getting larger....large enough to eat dog food. Not planning to give them raw chicken, because am afraid how that will end.

Poui Flowers

Why are the immortelle trees and the poui flowering now?

NR: They're confused, like the rest of us

SH:

Are they weeping their blossoms in sorrow

of the season’s demise, or rejoicing

the return of the rains thought gone

to dust and the ash of the fires yet to

flower among them in the season’s change?

Or perhaps it’s to teach us Christmas anew,

splurging their beauty like the star proclaiming

the promise of our better selves through

the birth of a radiant child, the love

and compassion and dignity we squander

as easily as blossoms cast on the wind

that yearly howls deeper into mammon.

Are they weeping their blossoms in sorrow

of the season’s demise, or rejoicing

the return of the rains thought gone

to dust and the ash of the fires yet to

flower among them in the season’s change?

Drizzle Day

Drizzle day = Stay home and watch Saturday morning cartoons with dogs day.

NR: Wet GSD is in the house. Sadly have to run errands day

JM: @NR: Wet GSD. Which is precisely why the BRTs are inside watching tv.

NR: He had to go out to do his "business". In the pouring rain.

Lizardarium

If all the lizards in my yard together outmass me, and they probably do, then do I own the house or am I simply the manager of a lizardarium.

Comments:

NR: Perhaps you should think of yourself as the property caretaker for the lizardarium/dog hotel

JM: .../bird n bees too

MC: There are some circles that believe humans are the virus on planet earth and its just a matter of time before we burn ourselves out.

JM: @MC: Then who will take care of the lizards?

MC: The lizards are doing just fine, that's why there are so many of them

JK: The plants on the property outmass you too. The insects may; the microbes certainly do. "Ownership", in those terms, just means it's your territory; territories are generally only relevant to others of the same species.

SD: The manager of the lizardarium, naturally! Enjoy!!

Cooked Dog Food

Cooked food for dogs today. It was yummy! They ate it up too.

Comments:

VO: What did you cook for them?

JM: Minced chicken and beef with rice, celery, pumpkin, snow peas, and baby carrots.

JM: Don't like giving them dog food. And Kiska may be getting too old for the bacterial load in raw meat. And I need to get them a balanced diet. By the way, it DOES taste good. Was considering for having it for my dinner too.

SS: Wow! I wish I was a dog at your house. Sounds like they are eating a better lunch than I had today. I hope they know how lucky they are to have you taking care of them.

JM: @SS: Course not. They EXPECT peons like me to serve their every need. Which I dutifully do.

JM: This may be backfiring. Dogs refused dog chow this morning, the same dog chow they have liked and eaten in the past.

MW: Lol...if you wait long enough they will eat it again...or as an alternative, they might enroll you in a culinary school to ensure variety on a permanent basis..lol...

SS: I think you need culinary training to meet their need for delicious food. Gotta say they are smart just waiting for you to make something really good before they eat. They really are in charge.

Parent

A parent is someone who spends most of the rest of their lives worrying about their children and, the rest of it being guilty.

Comments:

NR: For having children in the first place?

JM: For doing the wrong things to their kids.

NR: Told you not to give them treats LOL

SH: Or chicken vienna sausages!

JM: I am guilty that I did not give Aleksei more chicken vienna sausages and guilty that Devka is getting too many.

NR: we do the best we can

SH: Dont think guilt sticks on doggies, too forgiving and unconditionally loving - something we could all be guilty of not being.

JM: Ah, but i wasn't talking about doggies - I was talking about parenting said doggies. Knowing they will forgive me does not make the worry or guilt any less.

SH: Maybe parenting isnt the word, then? More like co existing? With a little help when we can, when they really need it, out of love and in return for the devotion they lavish on us.

PL: I've done both parenting of humans and canines - both test who we are as people and challenge us to be the best we can, even when we fail them in the small things. Both enrich us in ways it is hard to fathom. JM, I've known you too long to hesitate to tell you to let go of the guilt. You have too much heart to carry that useless burden. Love today all you can, and start fresh tomorrow.

TAB: Boy, I hope that won't be me. I plan to worry until the lad is eighteen and then just walk away. Teddy now, I will fuss over him forever!

PL: Once a mom, always a mom for me, biped or quadruped. With all we put in to get them to 18, I'm invested and enjoy the returns.

Toothache

Have toothache. Painful to chew. Need something that melts in my mouth. Ooh! Look at that - I bought 4 bars of dark chocolate yesterday. How serendipitous!

Comments:

NR: you're applying a sugar based item to your already problematic teeth. Perhaps serendipitous is not the word

JM: @Natasha: It is dark chocolate. Do you think I care?

NR: I suspect not....but I wouldn't either

JM: Washing down chocolate with espresso coffee. Deciding to have ice cream for dinner. This may be the best Sunday evah!!

JG: JM, you may need to wait for the ice cream to melt, as sometimes cold makes a toothache even worse. If you find that you can't wait and it will cause you pain, I will eat the ice cream for you.

JM: @JG: You were right. Ice cream sitting on the counter at the moment. Have to wait on dinner to thaw just like doggies.

JG: I still will eat the ice cream for you! Just saying... You will be making an appointment with a dentist, I hope!

JM: @JG: First thing tomorrow morning. By the way, any ideas how much chocolate is too much chocolate? Had two 70% bars - am I poisoning myself yet?

JG: You are not a dog. Therefore you can never have too much chocolate.

Toothache

Third world problems: chasing the hummingbird outside every evening.

Comments:

PL: Can I play?

JM: @PL: 'tis a frustrating game, given that one of the players hovers 10 feet above ground level. But feel free to come help.

PL: I'm way too slow to win, but the pretty players make the game worthwhile anyway.

JM: @PL: It's a hummingbird! Everyone is too slow.

JM: I initially thought it was a game of skill and intelligence on my part against the poor confused creature, but eventually I realised that, really, it was the other way around.

PC: Wait a while and he will tire, then you can pick him up from behind the sofa and put him out.

@PC: He did tire. And rested on the top of the curtain rod. Which happens to be 9 1/2 feet up. Hard to pick him up.

SS: Sounds like a challenge. Bet your dogs are loving watching you and that bird dance around the house.

MAFM: He'd only visit our house once--the three feline overlords would solve the problem fairly quickly.

Sticks in the Park

Thought to friends I should warn

All the sticks on the ground

In the park, they've been peed upon

Comments:

DC: You probably should have gone to the bathroom before you decided to go for a walk....or were you just marking your territory? :o)

JM: @DC: <facepalm> By DOGS! Every stick every day. Just in case you want to pick up a stick to wield it as a light saber. Yargh - friends like you guys!

SM: But...but...why?

JG: Nontraditional. Haiku of six, six, seven. Doggies on the brain.

JM:

We are sorry Jan

that our meter fails the test

Still, the sticks are peed upon.

Oatmeal, Funnyjunk, and Copyright

An example of what happens when your website's content gets stolen and the website with the stolen content has more cash to hire lawyers than you do. This matters to me, because I've had content stolen from my website - and it continues all the time.

Something to think about. If you plan to copy an image or text, make sure you keep the creator's name with the image or text, and make sure you create a link back to their website. Especially if you are posting the image to a site that monetises stuff posted (eg. Facebook). We won't necessarily like what you've done, but at least we'll know that you have the common courtesy of recognising us as the creator of the content.

On the good side, Oatmeal's story looks like it will have a happy ending - he's raised just under $150,000 for charity so far. Makes me wish I could write funny stuff. And draw.

Living with Someone

When living with someone, you've got to know which battles to fight and which situations to acquiesce to. Which principles are important and when yielding provides a happier household than taking a stand. It's not about winning, but about finding the right balance. And that is why adding a dog door to my bedroom is not a sign of weakness, but about harmony.

Comments:

JK: I haven't yet put in a cat door, but I'm sleeping with the door open most of the time. (The cats almost-but-not-quite pushed me out of bed this morning. My fault for turning on the electric blanket, I suppose.)

JM: @JK: Why is it that 2 sq feet of cat can take up 30 sq feet of bed?

JK: They cuddle *hard*, and move to claim any space I give them. Which is OK, actually; I like being part of the critter pile.

JM: @JK: You've got to take a stand! A dog door is not a bed....or something like that.

VK: Lol love it :)

KD: You've thought that out well.....I love it.

SS: I wonder if they make doorknobs so the dog could open the door with its paw. Your dogs looked pretty big. How big is your dog door going to have to be?

JK: Many pets learn to operate lever-handle door latches.

JM: @JK: But they don't do quite as well in remembering to close the door of the air conditioned room.

JM: @SS: I'll be using a kitchen cabinet door that is 30" tall and 17" wide mounted on double swing hinges. It'll be glass so they can see in or out. I've done it already for their room, but they've decided to move into my bedroom to sleep.

MFL: JM, this principle works for spouses too!! SMILE.

CL: :D

Feeding the Hawk

I mean, it is acceptable to stake out the neighbour's cat to feed the hawk that has taken up residence across the road, right?

Birthday Knitting

Happy Birthday to the person who taught me how to knit. Best wishes.

The War of the Computer begins!

Aigh! Black Russian Terriers watching YouTube videos! The war of the computer begins!

Comments:

RNK: Welcome to my world ... except instead of Black Russian Terriers, I have a Brown American Terror!

RR: Ultimate Dog Tease Video!! Play it for them...again and again!! especially for Kiska. Have you ever shown them vids of cats? Wonder what their reaction would be?

JM: @RR: Kiska will bite me if I tease her.

JM: @RNK: Thankfully for me, doggies have no thumbs to manipulate mouse or keyboard - for which I am grateful, especially when I am not at home.

RR: won't be long before they realise they can use their long tongues to type and move the mouse. Just a matter of time before Kiska figures it out and turn on the tv....lol

Multiple Choice Test. With Dogs.

So, if Dog A has sensitive skin which is prone to infection when it is repeatedly licked (really), and Dog B manages to lick Dog A's right cheek sufficiently to cause said infection and Dog A has thick hair on said cheek so that Human A (that's me) can't see (i) how bad the infection is, and (ii) must spend half hour each day cleaning hair matted with blood and dog drool and oily bits from last night's dinner and Human A cannot trim said thick hair from Dog A's cheeks because the said infection makes trimming the hair painful for Dog A and also Human A when Dog A violently reacts to said painful trim attempts. Given the above, should Human A undertake to (A) put cone of shame on Dog A to prevent further licking of said infection, (B) put cone of shame on Dog B to prevent further licking of said infection, (C) tie bandana over infection on Dog A complete with cheery ribbon decoration on top, (D) carry Dog A to work for the next week while infection heals, (E) beat Dog B for causing Human A so much trouble, (F) curse Ex, or (G) Other (please specify).

Comments:

MH: (G) Other Take Dog to a Reputable Vet. 0.O

ERN: u could move to russia.....

SS: Other Have all dogs wear cones that way they will feel like a band of brothers, and it will give you a better chance that some dog will still have a cone on by the end of the day. That dog bowl from the other day makes me think keeping the cones on will be challenging.

PC: Other. Suggest use of genetics to modify saliva of dog B to include antiseptic qualities enriched with aloe and lanolin thus turning problem licking into medical treatment. If this fails I go for (F).

JM: @SS: Bowl was from Dog C, so no worries there regarding cone of shame and wearing thereof. For now. However, the infection started because Dog A and Dog C are vying for pack dominance and trying to curry favour with Dog B. By licking his cheeks. Human A seems to be left to fix collateral damage, and while he could exert super alpha power, it seems a bit of overkill at the moment. Does anyone know where I can get aloes?

MH: i have / any yard? or wonder of the world after the aloes..if you are going that route. great.

CL: LMAO!!! To satisfy the requirement for human recompense, Human A just might be blameless in realising (F). On the other hand does how does on satisfy one of the criteria for good human-animal relationship (i.e. being kind and loving) AND satisfy the afore said, i.e. that of human recompense? Hummm..... maybe take Dog A to the vet to get the hair shaved under some drugged state AND administer the cone of shame to prevent 'post facto' licking. In this way Human A can have ALL aforesaid requirements and criteria satisfied: 1. that of human recompense; 2. that of being a good care-giver to an animal; 3. doing good unto the Good. (still scratching head....hummmmm.....)

JM: @CL: While your suggestions may repair the physical conditions of Dog A, they will probably cause mental distress as well, which will not satisfy the requirement of being a good caregiver or doing good. One might be left in a situation whereby one must choose the least harm and the greatest good - in which case one must carefully determine the weighting of the mental distress and the physical distress. One must also weigh in the time sensitive nature of both the physical and mental hurts as well as how time spent with Dog A, even in necessary care, affects the relationship of time spent with all dogs. Complicated.

KD: It's a long time I haven't done a math equation!

CL: @JM: Quite! Therefore, the happy equilibrium betwixt the two, i.e. mental distress (maybe 'anguish') and the greater good, might only be arrived at via a personal decision informed by personal information of which we here might not be in possession. In other words, tis all up to thee! :)

JM: @PC / SH: Thank your for the aloes in idea and in reality. While Dog A looked as if I was killing him on application of the aloes, Dog B promptly stopped licking him. Three days later, skin is healed. Current surmise - aloes probably is as bitter as they say, but it probably also stings like the dickens on application.

SH: More than welcome, JM.

Dog Diet